Learning from Dale Carnegie

Once upon a time there was a big change in the way Benedictines were accepting each other as confreres, brothers in Christ and as being monks on the same level. For centuries there had been Fathers and Brothers, the Fathers being priests and the Brothers being lay-brothers. Then Vatican II came and with it a call by the council for the Orders to go back to their founders and to search what their original intent was when they wrote their Rule and started gathering followers.
Sure enough, Benedict had at first followers who were monks, plain and simple. In time when the need for ordained priests was greater they seemed to constitute the higher class of monks whereas the brothers were laity with perpetual vows. When I entered I still entered under the old system and became a lay brother. As the original intent of our founder St. Benedict was evaluated the distinction was done away with. Now Fathers and Brothers make the same kind of solemn, perpetual vows and there is no more distinction either in the habit we wear. There used to be.
So when after the changes were made we were encouraged to enhance our education for the religious life I asked to make a Dale Carnegie course. I participated in one in Fremont, Nebraska. And from this course I remember distinctly the one saying about the three big ‘C’s, namely do not complain, do not criticize and do not condemn.
Now this was about 25 or 30 years ago. Yet I do remember this saying and recall it to my mind ever so often. We go through life be it in the world outside or life in a monastery and encounter situations where the 3 C’s come into play. It is then when I hear someone abusing one of the C’s that I remember and encourage myself to be vigilant. And this also goes to show that reminders like this can do a lot in our personal life.
By the way the Dale Carnegie course helped me to focus, to listen and to use my own mental resources in life. On one evening we were given a topic, just any topic, and had to speak two minutes about it. At first I was shocked at the idea and request. But when the time came I did ok, I do not remember what it was, anyway something that would have been far from my mind.

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