Monks Do Not Retire by Brother Bon

Learning from Dale Carnegie

broboniface — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 07:50:23 +0000

Once upon a time there was a big change in the way Benedictines were accepting each other as confreres, brothers in Christ and as being monks on the same level. For centuries there had been Fathers and Brothers, the Fathers being priests and the Brothers being lay-brothers. Then Vatican II came and with it a call by the council for the Orders to go back to their founders and to search what their original intent was when they wrote their Rule and started gathering followers.
Sure enough, Benedict had at first followers who were monks, plain and simple. In time when the need for ordained priests was greater they seemed to constitute the higher class of monks whereas the brothers were laity with perpetual vows. When I entered I still entered under the old system and became a lay brother. As the original intent of our founder St. Benedict was evaluated the distinction was done away with. Now Fathers and Brothers make the same kind of solemn, perpetual vows and there is no more distinction either in the habit we wear. There used to be.
So when after the changes were made we were encouraged to enhance our education for the religious life I asked to make a Dale Carnegie course. I participated in one in Fremont, Nebraska. And from this course I remember distinctly the one saying about the three big ‘C’s, namely do not complain, do not criticize and do not condemn.
Now this was about 25 or 30 years ago. Yet I do remember this saying and recall it to my mind ever so often. We go through life be it in the world outside or life in a monastery and encounter situations where the 3 C’s come into play. It is then when I hear someone abusing one of the C’s that I remember and encourage myself to be vigilant. And this also goes to show that reminders like this can do a lot in our personal life.
By the way the Dale Carnegie course helped me to focus, to listen and to use my own mental resources in life. On one evening we were given a topic, just any topic, and had to speak two minutes about it. At first I was shocked at the idea and request. But when the time came I did ok, I do not remember what it was, anyway something that would have been far from my mind.

Desiderata

broboniface — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 08:12:17 +0000

As I was mulling over my next post and what to say as one who has gotten the winter blahs badly, I remembered an old poem that has some history. Some of you may know it, or you may have heard it being mentioned. I thought it would be a nice piece to share with you. And if you have not know this poem I trust you will like it.
“Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly: and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble,; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither by cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all it`s sham and drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”
When I first read this poem in my early years of being in Nebraska I was deeply touched. In so many ways I found it affirming and reassuring and since I had a hard time then it helped me to stay the course. So perhaps it will be for you a ray of light in a sometimes dreary January of February when we do not see the Sun very often.

Something trying to wake me up !

broboniface — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 10:04:51 +0000

This past year has been a busy one for me. Since I have started to write this blog I have written 153 posts and I had fun doing so. At this time of year, since I am hibernating, things are much more difficult for me. I mean what would you do when there was a dead-line coming up and you had nothing prepared?
I almost remember vaguely that I said at the beginning of November now was the time for me to go into hibernation because I DISLIKE winter! Period!
However my conscience is not giving me any rest at all and I wake up nights and cannot sleep like a bear, which I normally do. Last night for instance there must have been a full moon and I did not fall asleep until shortly after midnight. Is that any way to treat an otherwise jovial bear?
So here I am telling you, that I am sleepy, have no bright ideas or any ideas for that matter and do not know what to write for my next post. It is a sorry state of affairs indeed. And the worst is I somehow remember I had a similar problem at the beginning of last year. Don’t tell me I am getting old. I know that.
Now so as not to let you search for my next post in vain I am submitting these few thoughts on an otherwise very important topic – SLEEP! Let me go back into my den and continue to sleep till the sun comes out again and the first flowers are up.
(Notice from the writer, I hope it will be a bit sooner!!!)
Cheers, happy new year!

May 2012 be good for you

broboniface — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 08:16:05 +0000

Do you remember that this is the year they say the world is coming to an end? There was a stir last year, a powerful film was made and (almost) everyone was talking about it. We would be having a silly god if he would let us make a film in due time before the end of the world were to happen. And who knows what other disasters and world shaking events lie ahead of us in the years after 2012? I plan to live my life as usual and will trust as I have before in divine guidance to get me through the days of this new year.
And I wish you the same good fortune, that the Lord may walk with you and carry you when needed and that you may have many more joyful and good days than ones with dark clouds hanging over you. We need a positive outlook when we take up the walking stick again, shoulder our bundle and set out to follow the star. Remember this is what many of us wanted to do when we heard to story again this past Christmas. Follow the star!
I cannot help but have a look around me where I see so much trouble brewing in many countries and parts of the world. I wonder what these people feel like, for instances in Yemen, Irak, Iran, Afghanistan and in Northern Africa. We have been through earth shattering times in Europe in the last century. No need to remind anyone. And are we not happy that things have changed? I will keep all these people and nations in my prayers as I continue my journey in life and hope that others may have it better soon, more peace, more chances for the good life, for freedom and employment for the young and future generations.
So let me close with the good wish that you may enjoy a real good and healthy and prosperous 2012 together with your loved ones and friends.

Happy New Year 2012

broboniface — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 08:39:28 +0000

Well we made it! We left one year behind and are stepping into another new year. You may have been reading some of my posts during 2011 and so you know that last year was a good one for me. Many new experiences, many people I could write to and I made new friends, at least as far as the internet and my blog goes.
I welcome you with me in 2012!
Somewhere there is a movie out about this year when the earth will cease and all kind of calamities will take place, dooming one and all. I have a good feeling that this will not happen.
On the contrary I trust that with the help and grace of God we can continue, you and I, to go forward on our way through life. We may be on different tracks but like Anthony de Mello said, we are like a school of fish, all in the same river swimming towards the ocean.
I do not want to sound cocky but when I look back over the years that I have lived I can only say with wonderment that most years of my life were good ones. Even though, I had to learn and am still learning to make the best out of this life. We pass only once. Would it not be wonderful if we would all meet again in the next world?
It is customary that we wish each other good things for a new year. So let me wish you, dear reader, the blessings of the Lord, the success each one of us hopes for in life, the peace in your heart and in your family. And peace on earth, at least a tiny step towards it, would be nice, let us pray for this.

Christmas changed lives

broboniface — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 07:20:23 +0000

O come, O come, Emmanuel, is what people sang before Christ was born. They knew that something would eventually happen, a Savior come to redeem his people. He was foretold!
And when He came it was such a joy and also a terrible disappointment to those who hoped for a major new King who would safe the Jewish people from the fist of the Roman occupiers.
So for us today we say what a blessing that Christ was born however we know this only after the miraculous birth happened in Bethlehem. His parents went from their home to go to the city of Bethlehem to register according to the law. And then the time was fulfilled. The Savior was born in humble and poor circumstances in a stable.
For humankind this changed much, everything. Yet not all are Christians and many believe not the story that I love so much, the story of Christ’s birth. Mary and Joseph, simple people, he a carpenter, were blessed with a child. Even though, there was a throng of angels as we are told, only simple people came to view the newborn babe, shepherds who were tending their flock. In the dark of night they came because an angel had told them the good news. Joy to the world!
I like to extend to you my warmest and joyful Christmas wishes and greetings, wishing you peace, joy and a wonderful Christmas.

Fighting the darkness of depression

broboniface — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 07:49:43 +0000

I remember that when the days grow short and the darkness longer that for some people it is much harder to cope with depression and dark thoughts or feelings of loneliness. I can understand this very well since at times my life has been influenced by the dark night of the soul.
As merriment and happiness increase for many in the world who go Christmas shopping and enjoy the season of lights to the fullest it reminds others that they are alone. When during Advent we speak so often of waiting, waiting for the Lord most of all, but also waiting in our own life for a little light, some friendly touch and sharing perhaps of a Christmas dinner then so often elderly people feel their being alone to a much greater degree.
So then it is possible to feel depressed, sad, lonely and unsure.
There seems to be nothing a person can do in this state of mind. However I think the most important things we can do is to let someone know, talk to someone and if we are depressed others often do not notice much. A person may be crying inside for help and yet is unable to articulate the own need not knowing which way to turn since all around there is darkness and no light to show the way. Be sure and share with someone your anxiety and despair. No one can actually look into your soul, no one can feel the abyss which you may be close to. I have been there and in a dream I had an inviting bright yellowish hole inviting me to jump into darkness and despair. Even in my dream I made the sign of the Cross and said NO to myself and woke up. I knew that having jumped into this inviting hole it would have meant the end of life as it was.
This kind of darkness can befall anyone and more so in the darkest part of the year like December, January and February when there is little sunlight and less chance to walk outside and to enjoy the great outdoors.
Also there is no shame in being depressed. I call myself a Prozac user and ever since I started to take this medication I have been feeling my old self again. However from time to time there still come periods the remind me of the old times.

Tagged: dark night of the soul

Second thoughts on Advent

broboniface — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 13:34:26 +0000

Here I sit and ponder on what to write about now during Advent. It is funny what comes to my mind. I have friends in Australia now and in Malaysia and I keep thinking what I have come to expect under Advent and Christmas is not quite what these good people ‘down under’ or in the part of the world experience that has now summer. We feel good and like the cold season perhaps because that is the way it is and has been ever as long as we lived here in this climate.
Now I have lived for six years in Tanzania, East Africa and there of course, the climate around Advent is summer. Actually for most Europeans, the dry season which starts about in May and phases out about September is in Africa winter and around Christmas the rainy season has taken over and the first rains have fallen. If there is one reason that I liked Africa better it was this, that there is no real cold season, no ice, no snow, no sleet. Yes, there are all kinds of other inconveniences as far as the weather and the roads go but just different. I felt bad for those people in Europe or the US who were experiencing winter, real cold winter with all the trimmings. We had rain and slippery road conditions but sunshine all around. I remember taking a doctor to the airport in Mtwara one Christmas Day and I had a tape in the player playing White Christmas and other Christmas songs. As a German he was not used to this and was really perplexed that I enjoyed this kind of music in summer conditions. I just loved it. Also one time in Nairobi, in one of the better hotels they were playing Jingle Bells in the park outside while serving ice-cold drinks or hot coffee. One gets used to that.
So for you for whom it is winter I wish you safe roads and a warm fire and for those who live in summer I hope you find a cool spot and a cold drink to keep your body humming. Cheers and to each his own.

When I was a young man still

broboniface — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 13:02:42 +0000

From time to time I have spoken up in regard to the situation in Arab countries in North Africa. It seems there is what you might call the domino effect going on. We have a new situation in Tunisia, Libya and Egypt and there is serious unrest in Syria, Yemen, and other nations in the area. It is by no means certain in my opinion that the situation in Libya is stable and the new government can handle the situation after the bloody civilian uprising. And Egypt seems to have a similar situation and the first revolution is not complete without a second or third one. There cannot be lasting peace and democracy when there is so little willingness to keep peace between nationalities and religions in Egypt, the government and the army, the politicians and the generals.
After all democracy is, though it has been tried in Greece in antiquity, not an old form of government of people. For too many years people have been subdued and made to suffer and have no experience in what the democratic form of government means.
So I am afraid that we have not seen the end of the Arab Spring movement yet. Much remains to be done. Do people have to get rid forcefully of their leaders who are not willing to accede to human rights demands? For some time now we hear that Assad may be the next to go. How awful this is to think that a leader needs to be disposed of with force in order to make room for a hopefully more fair and better government. And that is where some of my doubts are, will what comes next really be more in the interest of the people or will again a new cycle of violence erupt.
I suppose that the world has to wait and be patient to give these countries time and space to grow and mature. It certainly cannot be done without our prayers and good will.

Advent can be an interior event

broboniface — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 14:10:42 +0000

Oh we all know that at the end of September there are just about all the Christmas cookies and specialties in supermarkets available. No one wants to miss out on the biggest business in the year.
How terrible that sounds. Yet is it not like this? Especially here in Germany people talk about this that Advent, the pre-season of Christmas has been utterly commercialized by big business and how bad that is. And then these same souls fall into the same trap like every year before. There is a rush for Christmas presents, main streets put on a million more lights ever year and Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer sounds from every store if it is not Silent Night, Holy Night.
There also used to be the slogan giving is more blessed than receiving. Is that still true.
Now I better stop with the silly litany I started.
Yes, we can make some room for reflection in these weeks before Christmas. We can attend a good concert. There is a church in our neighborhood where we can sit down a moment as often as we can and reflect about the great mystery. God giving His own son to redeem us and to help us find the way back home to the Father and to the mysteries of the nativity. In our daily liturgy we sing Advent songs, there are wonderful, age-old hymns in Gregorian Chant which we sing in preparation for the Holy Feast. Rorate coeli desuper and others.
I wish you my dear reader that you stop now and then during Advent to remember the divine and to reflect what we would be without the love that the Father has shown us in sending His son to earth.
And peace to all of good will.