Some time back I wrote a piece about low blood pressure. Now last night I experienced another low and it went from around 138/89 down to 98/49 and that was no fun at all. HOWEVER, since I had talked to one of our infirmarians when the last dip hit me I knew that below 45 would be hazardous. So I took one of my little red pills, nitrolingual and a little coffee and some cognac and after an hour or so the bp inched up a little and then some more and I knew I had overcome the deepest point. Now I am not sure the kind of medicines were the best I could do but nothing better came to mind. Then later toward morning it was up to 159/94 a bit high but ok.
This little scare was not as bad as last time because I knew that the dip might even go a little further and not be too dangerous. It´s a crazy world, one goes to sleep and feels fine and an hour later my body woke me up saying that all was not well.
I am happy that after my light stroke 4 years ago I got a small machine to measure bp around the wrist. So I have this always on my desk and even a phone with some red buttons for an emergency. I know that some heart problem was the reason for my fathers early death at 59 and his father at 60. Also my sister died at 57 of a heart attack. A specialist told me though, that after some episodes in a family there might be an exception and that seems to be me, still around at almost 74 now.
I spoke recently of a yearly, general check-up as a precaution of unexpected surprises. I am afraid many do not check their bp regularly or have it checked. That can cause severe trouble eventually. Our systems are not made of stainless steel but are rather fragile. Parts wear out. Something might need fixing in time. And the medical profession is there to help. Let´s make use of it.
blood pressure 98/49 No fun at all
For crying out loud, where are my pictures ???
I tried three or four times to get my pictures uploaded and it said it was doing so. Now I will try again, I hope with more luck.
Since the A word as we monks are calling it cannot be used during Lent (you know Alleluia) I cannot use it here.
I still hope this has worked and sorry, No. 18 is twice shown.
It is Ash Wednesday morning and as the title says, I am still having the ashes on my head. However I do feel that I want to share with you a few pictures from our Fasching or Mardigras celebration last night. Of course, I cannot repeat all the good and fairly bad jokes we heard but at least I can show you where this happened, in our refectory. There is an old rosewood pulpit from the basilica that was once the Abbey Church built by Balthasar Neumann.
In Fasching the “Bütt” is very important, something like an old open barrel where the jokes and hilarious episodes are being told from. So it all works out very well.
I do not have a lot of time just now to give a comment on each photo. It is mostly about the costumes, all are monks, of course.
And with that I am signing off for today. I have found out that Lent is becoming more familiar to me, one has done it all so many times. The real important part is to convert ones heart. That is the more difficult task.
Wish you well and let us hope and pray for an early spring.
my yearly physical check-up
If I were the president of the United States you would read about my last physical check-up in the papers and I would not need to say anything about it here. Since I am not and I have to take care of myself as best I can I went to our doctor the other day. Ever since I am of middle age, roughly thirty years ago, I started this yearly check-up thing religiously. I go to the medical doctor at the beginning of each new year and to the dentist in October. So far I have been doing well and the once yearly visit is it. It feels funny when I say at the end: “nice to have seen you and see you again next year, doc”. Of course, he and I know that unforeseen things can happen at any time and it does not take much to break my yearly routine.
I have from time to time said something about these yearly routines and since we all have gotten one year older since last time I had a chance to write about this topic, I hope not to bother you and tire you with my writing. Of course, we all know that health is our most precious possession during this life. We need not to pamper ourselves but to take care of what we have got and to try to preserve it as long as possible without too many scratches. I have done well over the years and cannot complain even now. Once in 1997 I was lucky. I went to the annual visit with the doctor in Schuyler not knowing that my PSA count was elevated. The blood test found this out in no time and I got the scare of my life when I was told to show up at the urologist in Fremont as soon as possible. Lo and behold, yes, there was cancer and I heard of it on the Good Friday of that year. Trouble was the conference center of which I was administrator at the time was to be opened on June 1st. And I wanted to be there. So the surgery was scheduled for Tuesday during Easter week, done and after 5 days I was on my way home. The doctor was happy when he told me we have got it all and there is a healing.
I am not going to bother you with the details but I also was glad. First that I could have done this taken care of in time for the Opening on June 1st and secondly that it was done in a
hospital nearby. I was very well taken care of, recuperated nicely and started to work again before the June dead-line.
Now I can say good for me that I went to the regular check-up, thank God, I was young enough then to come through it all fairly well and recovered. I feel that God has given us the know-how to deal with situations like this. We need to do our part and roll with the punches. And we can trust that the divine power is also with us every day of our life, also this year of 2012.
Truth and honesty
A while ago someone sent me a book written by my confrere Anselm Grün with the title Truth and honesty. I am reading this book with great interest. Fr. Anselm writes about different aspects not only the religious one. And it is this topic that prompts me to write something today that I have difficulty admitting.
For some time now I feel like a deflated tire, one where the air has gone out, there is no pressure. I noticed after Christmas that it was much more difficult for me to write a post. Nothing much was bubbling up and I had trouble finding topics of interest. In my heart of hearts I admitted to myself and my friend in Michigan that I was having trouble. Perhaps I had asked too much of myself by writing a post every week. It feels difficult now to write something about me or my perceptions of events around me and thus in the light of the things I have been reading about truth and honesty I admit I need a while to sit back, find new strength and then I will decide if to carry on or to end my writing at this time. I know I have twelve good people who have subscribed to my blog and have received a copy of each new post.
May be there is something you can do for me, if you like to do it. There may be things that you would like to know more about, perhaps about religious life in general or about specifics. In our world of today we get so much information that is half-true only that sometimes an explanation from someone who is closer might be helpful. So if you care I am open for suggestions. Do you think something like this might restart the engine?
I feel it hard to deal with the extreme cold outside and do not get much out of the office. So I am going to slip back into my den and will rest some more, even if not deep hibernation, I am praying like I always do.
It is a great privilege to have written some posts that have interested you. With the Lords help I will pick this up again.
God bless you, thanks.
EU hopeful start – problems galore
When the EU was starting, then expanding and growing in leaps and bounds I was living still in Nebraska. There are a few things that seemed odd to me from the distance. One was the ever greater reliance of Europe on gas from Russia. Once the gas was flowing problems cropped up usually in winter, the coldest time in Ukraine and other parts of Russia and the West was shivering thinking that gas may be cut off for all. I felt there was an over dependence on the neighbors to the East.
And another example was the establishment of the European Union once the founder nations had agreed on a course of action. Also and again from a distance it did not look and feel right that once the EU was in place so many other nations rushed to the door steps of Brussels in order to be accepted into the Union. One cannot forget that the American Union of States took several hundred years to form what we now know to be the United States of America. When so many different States bring in their resources and are together responsible for the policy being formed in Washington and then being executed in an orderly manner then this nation speaks with one heart and one voice. There may be different States singing with a little different voice and there may be discrepancies but on the whole it has worked and works to this day.
Not so the European Union. I am flabbergasted when I see what is happening EU wide in regard to finances, policies in regard to exterior and defense matters. It seems to be a tragedy that now and for the last few years the EU cannot get their house in order when it comes to finances. Some nations teeter on the verge of collapse and if this comes true then the whole house will be shaking. As always the human element plays a role. Nations who were not honest in applying for membership and gave false figures now could bring the EU to shake in its boots.
I cannot but wonder if it would have helped to go slower with adding new members.
And perhaps you remember as I do what other nations wanted and still want to join the European Union. That seems to be preposterous like bringing Turkey and Portugal together into one Union of States, plus all others who are talking about some day joining.
Europeans can certainly be applauded for making the enormous effort of bringing Europe together and wanting to cement a union that has the strength to endure. I hope and pray that the present crisis can and will be worked out and that the EU will endure for a long time.
Learning from Dale Carnegie
Once upon a time there was a big change in the way Benedictines were accepting each other as confreres, brothers in Christ and as being monks on the same level. For centuries there had been Fathers and Brothers, the Fathers being priests and the Brothers being lay-brothers. Then Vatican II came and with it a call by the council for the Orders to go back to their founders and to search what their original intent was when they wrote their Rule and started gathering followers.
Sure enough, Benedict had at first followers who were monks, plain and simple. In time when the need for ordained priests was greater they seemed to constitute the higher class of monks whereas the brothers were laity with perpetual vows. When I entered I still entered under the old system and became a lay brother. As the original intent of our founder St. Benedict was evaluated the distinction was done away with. Now Fathers and Brothers make the same kind of solemn, perpetual vows and there is no more distinction either in the habit we wear. There used to be.
So when after the changes were made we were encouraged to enhance our education for the religious life I asked to make a Dale Carnegie course. I participated in one in Fremont, Nebraska. And from this course I remember distinctly the one saying about the three big ‘C’s, namely do not complain, do not criticize and do not condemn.
Now this was about 25 or 30 years ago. Yet I do remember this saying and recall it to my mind ever so often. We go through life be it in the world outside or life in a monastery and encounter situations where the 3 C’s come into play. It is then when I hear someone abusing one of the C’s that I remember and encourage myself to be vigilant. And this also goes to show that reminders like this can do a lot in our personal life.
By the way the Dale Carnegie course helped me to focus, to listen and to use my own mental resources in life. On one evening we were given a topic, just any topic, and had to speak two minutes about it. At first I was shocked at the idea and request. But when the time came I did ok, I do not remember what it was, anyway something that would have been far from my mind.
Desiderata
As I was mulling over my next post and what to say as one who has gotten the winter blahs badly, I remembered an old poem that has some history. Some of you may know it, or you may have heard it being mentioned. I thought it would be a nice piece to share with you. And if you have not know this poem I trust you will like it.
“Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly: and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble,; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither by cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all it`s sham and drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”
When I first read this poem in my early years of being in Nebraska I was deeply touched. In so many ways I found it affirming and reassuring and since I had a hard time then it helped me to stay the course. So perhaps it will be for you a ray of light in a sometimes dreary January of February when we do not see the Sun very often.
Something trying to wake me up !
This past year has been a busy one for me. Since I have started to write this blog I have written 153 posts and I had fun doing so. At this time of year, since I am hibernating, things are much more difficult for me. I mean what would you do when there was a dead-line coming up and you had nothing prepared?
I almost remember vaguely that I said at the beginning of November now was the time for me to go into hibernation because I DISLIKE winter! Period!
However my conscience is not giving me any rest at all and I wake up nights and cannot sleep like a bear, which I normally do. Last night for instance there must have been a full moon and I did not fall asleep until shortly after midnight. Is that any way to treat an otherwise jovial bear?
So here I am telling you, that I am sleepy, have no bright ideas or any ideas for that matter and do not know what to write for my next post. It is a sorry state of affairs indeed. And the worst is I somehow remember I had a similar problem at the beginning of last year. Don’t tell me I am getting old. I know that.
Now so as not to let you search for my next post in vain I am submitting these few thoughts on an otherwise very important topic – SLEEP! Let me go back into my den and continue to sleep till the sun comes out again and the first flowers are up.
(Notice from the writer, I hope it will be a bit sooner!!!)
Cheers, happy new year!
May 2012 be good for you
Do you remember that this is the year they say the world is coming to an end? There was a stir last year, a powerful film was made and (almost) everyone was talking about it. We would be having a silly god if he would let us make a film in due time before the end of the world were to happen. And who knows what other disasters and world shaking events lie ahead of us in the years after 2012? I plan to live my life as usual and will trust as I have before in divine guidance to get me through the days of this new year.
And I wish you the same good fortune, that the Lord may walk with you and carry you when needed and that you may have many more joyful and good days than ones with dark clouds hanging over you. We need a positive outlook when we take up the walking stick again, shoulder our bundle and set out to follow the star. Remember this is what many of us wanted to do when we heard to story again this past Christmas. Follow the star!
I cannot help but have a look around me where I see so much trouble brewing in many countries and parts of the world. I wonder what these people feel like, for instances in Yemen, Irak, Iran, Afghanistan and in Northern Africa. We have been through earth shattering times in Europe in the last century. No need to remind anyone. And are we not happy that things have changed? I will keep all these people and nations in my prayers as I continue my journey in life and hope that others may have it better soon, more peace, more chances for the good life, for freedom and employment for the young and future generations.
So let me close with the good wish that you may enjoy a real good and healthy and prosperous 2012 together with your loved ones and friends.
